One last favor...
Okay, I am officially done with draft 2, but I just added a scene and would reeeeeally like comments on it. Is my grammar ok? Does it flow with the rest of the story? Does it end all right or does it need to continue all the way to the good-bye at the airport (that especially I need to know!).

Also, I don't know what this new revelation says about Katie, but for the record I've always known this. So... yeah. I didn't quite make it up.

One other interesting fact about holding onto the past: in the beginning when Mariah checks her email and mentions the wall paper with a picture of two little girls she didn't know? That was the twins (in draft two "two little girls" is changed to "twin" girls so that that's not QUITE so vague). =)

So anyway... PLEASE READ IT! It's very very short (like half a page or less!). Promise. And more importantly, PLEASE COMMENT and tell me if I need to change something!



Saying goodbye to Grandma - and to North Carolina - was harder than I'd expected it to be. Don't get me wrong, I was completely happy to leave the land of sky-high temperatures and sauna-like air (although I knew I'd miss the trees and the gorgeous houses), but I'd gotten closer to the people and the place in one month than I would have thought humanly possible. I'd said goodbye to Molly and Sarah and the girls in their ward (who I had kind of come to like, even if they'd cost me a whole paycheck) the night before, and now Grandma and I were loading my bags into the trunk of her ancient car and heading out to the airport.

I took one last look at the ugly house as Grandma pulled out of the driveway (narrowly missing her mailbox, which bore the scars of having been hit a couple of times already).

"It's a pretty place," said Grandma, obviously misinterpreting my look of disgust. "It's why I moved back here."

"Huh?" Now I was totally confused.

"Your grandpa and I lived in Texas for a long time. I moved back to North Carolina after he died. It's a pretty place."

"Yeah," I said, watching the trees as we pulled onto the highway. I cringed as Grandma swerved into the middle of the road for a minute, earning a sharp honk from the guy in the other lane.

"I was delighted to find that the house was back up for sale, too," Grandma went on after a moment. I bit my tongue ("Delighted? By THAT thing?") - after all, Grandma was sentimental about the strangest things sometimes. (Once I'd asked her why she hadn't thrown the "I (HEART) GARDENING" shirt in the trash a long time ago - besides being tacky, it had a hole in the right sleeve - and she practically burst into tears and said it had been a present from her best friend in college and she wore it to remember the friend, who'd died two years ago. I didn't press the point.)

"Um, sure," I said, (mentally) waving goodbye to North Carolina as we (literally) sped down the road. "Did you grow up there or something?"

Grandma laughed (which I wasn't quite expecting). "No, honey. I actually grew up in the house next door - the white one. This house was Ben's house."

From there it cuts to the end, where Mariah's back in IF, which I posted earlier.